Thursday Estate Sale Update

10 Jan

Today was the first day back at the sales since the holidays. While it looks like there will be a few decent sales toward the end of the month, the pickings are pretty slim so far.
Here’s what I ended up with from the smelliest house in the entire Nipper’s Corner neighborhood. Not that I have done an exhaustive search of smelly houses or anything, it’s just that I am CONFIDENT that this particular house would win the prize. Now, I have dogs and I have to admit that my dogs do enjoy peeing on the carpet whenever the notion takes them. They have been potty trained, it’s just that they only remember their training on hardwood floors. Or, they are assholes.

But they looks so cute. How can they be assholes? (Carpet peeing. That is how.)

But they looks so cute. How can they be assholes? (Carpet peeing. That is how.)

Probably both, actually. But my house doesn’t smell because my dogs? Are not allowed near any carpet, ever. EVER. This does take constant vigilance, though, and these Nipper’s Corner homeowners apparently did not adhere to this policy, because, wow. The smell was awful. Nashville estate sale enthusiasts, take note.

So, just one Pyrex dish (I overpaid. AS USUAL.), one weird bulldog statue and Better Homes and Garden’s Eat and Stay Slim from 1968 that advises you to eat 1,000 calories a day to lose weight.

People, I will be truthful. I can survive on 1,000 calories a day for a long time. But only if I am ALSO smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.  Under those circumstances, it is easy! No problem. It is expensive and disgusting but I can totally do it. That is my only dieting secret. Smoke a LOT. (Don’t worry, I don’t smoke and I have the extra weight to prove it.)

Here is what Better Homes and Gardens thought you should weigh in 1968 if you are a woman:

People were kind of skinnier in 1968, right?

People were kind of skinnier in 1968, right?

Sorry if it is hard to read…I had issues upsizing the picture. Suffice to say that at 5’4″ with a small frame, my desirable weight according to this chart is 113. It would be 122 if I had a medium frame and 132 if I had a large frame. Le sigh. 1968 was a skinny time, y’all.

Hopefully my estate sale luck will get better–my good friend Angela is coming in to town and she is going to pick with me on Saturday. Be back soon–xoxo, LaurenT



One Response to “Thursday Estate Sale Update”

  1. Lisa January 10, 2013 at 8:16 pm #

    Man, I have been just this side of depressed about the lack of sales to go to! Smelly or no, I just want to dig for junk! I like how angry that bulldog statue looks, additionally. And that chart is a hoot. I’m 72 inches tall (yes, it took me a minute to convert inches to inches and feet, but we’ve cleared that mathematical hurdle) and I’m telling you, if I weighed 141 lbs, I would be ski-i-i-i-i-i-i-inny! Like, intervention skinny. Bonkers!

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